The three little words helping me to make the most of every moment

I have never believed in horoscopes. I barely remember my own star sign. But for a few weeks earlier this year, as Lunar New Year approached, I became obsessed with the Chinese zodiac – specifically the outgoing Year of the Snake.

With absolutely no authority or cultural reference point, I joined the overnight experts in my social media feed, favourite podcasts and Pilates class as a sudden believer. Given most of us had no more knowledge of Chinese culture than where to find good yum cha, we had no right to jump on a thousands-year-old bandwagon, but I saw it as a mass response to having our struggles affirmed.

“Snake” years are about shedding, change, letting go of who we thought we were, and the painful, exhausting work of transformation – and it rang so true. So many of us said, “Yes!” Come to think of it, 2025 did feel like I was dragging my freshly shucked body through dust towards forced renewal. It must have been the snake! Good riddance to that year.

And then, as the Lunar New Year ticked over, and we woke up in the Year of the Horse, logic reminded me that every year brings change and uncertainty. Life – in ways no horoscope can predict – will still, at times, be hard. So if I want to have a better year – and I never want one like last year again – I should start with me.

I admit that last year I formed a habit of seeing a glass as half empty. Sometimes, I preferred the feeling of drowning over swimming to the surface. Something had to shift. And I am lovingly helping myself do this, with one simple phrase: I am living.

Last year, I don’t know that I was really living. I was enduring, managing, surviving. So this year, I am choosing aliveness.

JO STANLEY

This might sound a bit woo-woo, but if you can get on board with the Year of the Snake, it should be easy. It’s simply the concept of repetition and refocus. “I am living” is a reminder that I am here, and I choose to live consciously.

It sounds fairly obvious – of course I’m living – and I’m incredibly blessed to be so. Like all of us, I have lost enough loved ones to know that. But last year, I don’t know that I was really living. I was enduring, managing, surviving.

So this year, I am choosing – deliberately and repeatedly – to live. I’m choosing aliveness.

I’m focusing on the feeling of life. On the beat of my heart and the breath in my chest and the strength in my limbs, accompanied by that simple phrase that reminds me to never squander one moment. To make the most of every minute by being open to the possibility within it. Essentially, to stop being such a bloody sad sack because this body and the breath in it are the greatest – and only – gifts we need.

It turns out, “I am living” is not just gratitude – it is an antidote to these strange and difficult times.

Because of “I am living”, I have joyfully fed my soul with whatever feels like life. Dance parties in the sun, a solo road trip to nowhere just to enjoy my own company. I’ve taken in the beauty of flowers, made friends with magpies, loved sunsets and sunrises and grey stormy skies.

I have said yes when before I’d say no. Left the house instead of hiding under the doona. Stopped to chat in the street instead of putting my head down and hurrying on. I’ve met people, heard stories, laughed laughs that would have gone un-laughed, had I not chosen to live.

“I am living” is simultaneously yes to chocolate cake, sleep-ins and comedy shows with friends, and no to anything age-appropriate, doing things because I should, and pants that are too tight.

“I am living” answers my mean inner critic with “it’s hot, I’m wearing shorts, and by the way, I love these knobbly knees”, and, “this is my body, and it gets to be seen”. It calls to me “this is your life – don’t miss it!” and “be bold, take up space!”

And when harder days hit, “I am living” whispers, “I love you” and “you can do this” and, “don’t be afraid, this too is life.”

In these three words there is resilience, acceptance and hope. There is defiance, rebellion and courage. Self-love and peace. Connection and joy. And there are enough great moments to make a really good year. Which is exactly the change I needed.

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